Mother if your reading this
I’ve been feeling out of place.
I can’t stand to see my face;
as all I see is ignorance,
emotional malnourishment,
hatred and belligerence.

I know you can’t-face the truth,
my existence bares the proof.
You provided me with life
in order to validate
creation of a conjugate
for- your first born's loneliness.

All my life
I’ve lived a lie.
I’ve an alternate personality.
I can’t escape the elements of my memories
though I’ve tried to feel
as though I have erased the you from me.
But in the mirror
it’s abundantly clear that
I only see your face.

When you said
I was nothing more than a specimen
you suppressed
my ability to process happiness
because you
lack the emotional intelligence to
function on
a level that is separate from your
pyramid schemes, shopping network additions,
political leanings and afflictions.

All my life
I’ve lived a lie.
I’ve an alternate personality.
I can’t escape the elements of my memories
though I’ve tried to feel
as though I have erased the you from me.
But in the mirror
it’s abundantly clear that
I must eliminate
hate you’ve endowed me with.

When I want to erase the
spots of you in my mind
people tell me that I should
forgive and forget
However, they begin to understand
when I tell them of your master plan to
recruit me into your
psycho babble patrol
where you would ultimately
isolate me within your control.

Look what you’ve done to me
I can’t stand to see my face
because all I see you
and the self hate you’ve endowed me with.
(REPEAT)

The Ritalin, Desipramine,
and psycho-analysis’
was your solution to parenting.

All my life
I’ve lived a lie.
I’ve an alternate personality.
I can’t escape the elements of my memories
though I’ve tried to feel
as though I have erased the you from me.
But in the mirror
it’s abundantly clear that

I have your eyes,
skin tone and hair;
but I have the capacity to care.
When you’re erased from my memories I’ll no longer feel
as though I have parts of you in me.
And in the mirror
I’ll finally see that
I’ve finally come to peace with
the outside I’ve rejected
now that I’m projecting
a greater sense of harmony
with- the inside and outside me
now that-your hatred, belligerence,
emotional malnourishment,
and elements of ignorance
have
been
purged
from
me.